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Martha, no!
I bet you were.
Frannie... I'm so sorry.
You ought to go home.
But I want to be here with you.
Come on.
You should go home.
Go home.
Well, it's been a really fun thing.
Fine time.
Goes with every decor, ladies! That's right!
And for $179.99, this demonstration set,
is yours to take home to your family!
The kids can't break it, the dogs can't eat it,
the old man can't say it costs too much.
This set will change your life, ladies,
and there isn't a thing it can't do.
Well, there are one or two things it can't do.
Oh, sure.
But, the lucky lady who buys this deluxe set, here tonight,
as a special bonus will be receiving...
The cheese keeper, the grater/slicer,
and you've never seen a greater slicer than this,
and best of all this, our classic plastic pickle holder.
Isn't that nice? With the special plastic pickle picker-upper.
Ladies, I'm all yours. The store is now open.
Please, descend on me, if you will.
I'm gonna take it.
Are... What are you doing?
I'll take the deluxe set.
Martha, don't be ridiculous.
Birdy does not expect you to buy the most expensive thing here.
I know, but I want it.
No, there is only one deluxe set
and this lady has, spoken up for it.
You don't need all this stuff.
I mean, look at it. It's a lot of stuff.
I mean, she lives in this little guest house apartment.
You don't need it. You just don't need it.
Mercy...
I'm not, I'm not always gonna live in that apartment.
- Martha. - Yes, of course... Come on, Martha.
Mercy, why... Now it's... Ma'am?
Excuse me. Excuse me!
- Good night! - Bye, Martha.
It's like stepping on s'mores.
I like to keep 'em soft like this.
I know you like me, but not here, girl?
Martha, stop it!
Look what you did. You're such a fool. Come on, let me help you up.
Come here.
Sit down. Sit down over there.
Go on, sit on the chair.
Okay.
Put your hand like this. Like this.
Give me absolution.
Oh, Martha...
You're a wonder.
You're like... You're like a primitive thing...
That's never been spoiled.
You might as well live in a glass cocoon.
I want you to tell me things, okay?
I want you to stay up all night and talk to me.
No, I can't do that.
What do ya mean ya can't?
Of course ya can.
Oh God.
I need a fuckin' drink!
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No, no, no, no!
Come on, let's go back inside.
No! Why not?
I'm sore, I gotta get home.
Come on, let's go back inside.
It's dark in there.
Oh, yeah!
I'm sore too. So what?
What's wrong?
Jesus Christ! What the fuck are you...
And I like your haircut.
I do. It's different. It is.
Don't know how to dance.
You don... You don't know... Come here.
Colin Mackey's one easy lesson in fake dancing.
Here.
Jump up on my shoes.
Up on my shoes. That's it.
Relax. Don't be frightened.
Don't be... Don't be afraid to be touchin', Martha.
Perfect strangers touch when they're dancin'.
I like you.
You like me, don't ya?
You're so soft and warm.
So soft.
Oh, God, I'm a professional asshole.
I gotta find a new line of work.
This is takin' its toll.
Don't be frightened, Martha.
Don't be afraid.
Good girl.
Put your tongue out, like this.
That's it. That's it.
Oh.
That's it.
Happy birthday!
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow
♪ Which nobody can deny
Enough! Enough! Enough! That's it! That's it!
What are you doing here anyway?
It's your birthday!
Happy Birthday! Thank you, thank you very much.
Excuse me. Thank you very much.
Congratulations.
Happy birthday. Thanks.
All right, everybody.
I wanna see you all out here dancing.
Come on, don't be shy.
Hi.
Would you like to dance with me?
No, thank you, I... I don't wanna dance with you.
Okay, well, how about get a drink or somethin'?
I don't drink.
Okay.
Okay. No problem.
I must say, we've got a lot of wonderful dancers here tonight.
Honey, you look so beautiful!
When did you cut your hair? It looks great. Yester...
And you have makeup on, don't you?
It looks very nice.
It brings out all your pretty features.
And this dress.
Did you pick it out yourself...
Or did Frances get it for you?
No, I... I picked this one out.
- Martha. - It's beautiful.
Would you like to dance with me?
Sorry. Excuse me.
Oh.
That's good.
♪ I love you
You look really pretty tonight, Martha. You do.
♪ For sentimental reasons
♪ I hope you do believe me
♪ I'll give you my heart
My, My job's nearly finished here.
So... ♪ I love you I'm gonna be leavin'.
♪ And you alone were meant for me
♪ Please give your loving heart to me What?
I'll send you postcards.
From all the best places. I promise.
♪ I think of you every morning
♪ I dream of you every night
♪ Darling, I'm never lonely
♪ Whenever you're in sight
♪ I love you ♪ For sentimental reasons Oh, my...
♪ I hope you do believe me
I don't believe she's doing this.
♪ I'm giving you my heart She must be awful drunk.
Poor Steve.
I'm so glad you were he... Oh.
I think we should go.
Yeah, let's just go.
Oh, this is awful. Oh, my God.
Thanks a lot.
We have a request for you tonight, and... Is this it?
It's for your next assemblyman, Steve.
And it's from your best friend, Frances.
Here it is.
♪ Someday ♪ When I'm awfully low
♪ When the world is cold ♪ I will feel a glow
♪ Just thinking of you
♪ And the way you look tonight
I can't believe this is happening.
Shut up, Heidi.
♪ Oh, but you're lovely ♪ With your smile so warm
♪ And your cheeks so soft
♪ There is nothing for me ♪ But to love you
♪ Just the way you look tonight ♪
I am here.
Beech.
Beech?
What are you doing here? Go away.
We're almost through, Mrs. Beecham.
I said go away! Just go away!
Where's the gin?
Look, we'll come back tomorrow and finish this up.
Let's go.
Oh, God!
Are you okay?
I'm, I'm... I'm so drunk.
Are you mad?
Why don't you get mad?
You never get mad!
It stings.
I looked everywhere for you.
I couldn't find you.
Oh, God. I'm so scared.
Beech.
My Beech. My...
Your red shirt, you know the one? I put it...
I put it on your bed.
You can wear it tonight.
Oh, Beech.
Oh!
What the hell is wrong with that?
You just want this?
And this?
Oh, Martha.
Get out.
What?
Get... Get out.
Just... Just get, get out!
What? What? Just get out. Get out.
Get the fuck outta here!
Birdy... Oh! Oh!
Jesus Christ.
What the hell are you doing here?
No! No!
Jesus Christ.
What the fuck did you do to me?
Well... Will you just give me a hand here.
For what?
Oh, God.
Martha, give me a hand here.
Why?
You have my glasses?
Oh, what the fuck is goin' on here?
My glasses.
Hey! Okay.
Listen... What? Are you still here?
It's okay, Getso.
Getso, it's okay now.
Don't be frightened, okay.
Help me, Martha. Okay.
It's okay.
Dad, that's okay.
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